ShawnRosemarin.com

“Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” – Robin Williams

Dear Shawn – Throughout your life you have met so many incredible people with deeply interesting stories. So much so that at times, you have walked away from meetings thinking about how little you really understood about that person before you engaged in meaningful dialogue beyond the walls of the office.

All this being said you have also missed a ton of learnings along the way. Why? Simply put, when you are focused on simply “getting things done” you miss getting to know the people and understanding their stories and their insights. Missing these interactions takes away an opportunity to truly connect, relate and build a common bridge to work more effectively together.

My advice to you in this letter is to slow down and “seek to understand before seeking to be understood”. This doesn’t mean slowing down forward progress but instead investing in the legitimate dialogue with those around you.  In my opinion a key element to this dialogue is developing a true ability to show empathy.

What have I learned along the way?

1. Empathy means giving others space to share their stories as part of your interactions.

2. Empathy means showing interest through curiosity allowing others to expand the richness of their ideas.

3. Empathy means acknowledging that you have heard what they have said by summarizing what you have heard back in your own words.

4. Empathy requires you to attempt to relate to a situation that may be well beyond anything you have ever experienced and attempt to feel the emotions of that moment.

5. Empathy requires you to resist the temptation the solve the problem and instead have the courage to ask “how can I help”.

6. Empathy is not “commiseration”. Acknowledging a situation and its impacts is different than agreeing with the severity of its outcomes.

7. Empathy requires space, in your life and your calendar allowing you to slow down just enough to allow for deeper conversations.

Ultimately, through my working life empathy has been one of the most critical bonding agents in forming relationships. Impatience and anxiety are blockers to it. Take the time to get to know those who you work with and let your curiosity be your headlamp.

This letter was inspired by one of my childhood friends Kim S. who has built your professional life around bringing light to the power of empathy everywhere.

If you enjoyed this write-up here are direct links to the rest of the series.

Part I – “Keep an eye on the gas gauge”

Part II – “What’s the worst that can happen?”

Part III – “What’s the ONE THING”

Part IV – “Navigating the ups and downs of a career in sales”

Part V – “Don’t eat the marshmallow”

Part VI – “Not every mountain is Mt. Everest!”

Part VII – “Anchor your career with your towering strengths”

Part VIII – Do you choose the red pill or the green pill?

Part IX – “Managing your Monkeys”

Part X – “Attacked from Within”

Part XI – “The mirror does not lie….”

Part XII – “The Time Machine is broken”

Part XIII – “Don’t forget where you came from”

Part XIV – “Patience Young Grasshopper”